How to Define Your Own Version of Success
A new formula for defining success
Success = financial stability + creative freedom + lifestyle design
Have you ever questioned what the word ‘success’ means specifically for you?
For most of my life, I had a narrow definition of what success meant. It involved people knowing your name, and having enough money — ie. lots of money — to buy an endless stream of designer handbags and big cars.
It wasn’t a definition I had opted-in to, but it was the definition that had been fed to me from childhood through films, magazines about celebrities, and our education system. And I swallowed it whole.
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It was a definition of success from an outside-in perspective (what other people consider most important in life) versus an inside-out perspective (what I really care about).
Once I began working for myself as a marketing consultant and later as a coach, I realised that I needed to totally redefine my definition of success. If I was to set meaningful personal and financial goals, then I first needed to know what I actually wanted in life.
What I wanted. It was a surprisingly difficult question to answer. What I’m about to share with you is the method I used to do so.
What Does Success Look Like For You?
As a former corporate marketing manager, I used this question a lot when planning big projects and campaigns with colleagues. But I had never asked it of myself. When I finally did, the first place I looked was the English Collins Dictionary definition. Here’s what I found:
success (noun)
(səkses )
1. Success is the achievement of something that you have been trying to do.
2. Success is the achievement of a high position in a particular field, for example in business or politics.
3. Someone or something that is a success achieves a high position, makes a lot of money, or is admired a great deal.
Unfortunately, I believe too many people understand the word success by definitions 2 and 3 and not enough by 1 — “Success is the achievement of something that you have been trying to do.
The versions of success in definitions 2 and 3 are our Western cultural baggage. Achieve a high position. Make a lot of money. Be admired a great deal.
The problem with those definitions is that they suggest that anyone who doesn’t achieve those things in life is not a success. And that’s nonsense.
Let’s imagine success another way.
A New Formula for Defining Success
Success = financial stability + creative freedom + lifestyle design.
Financial stability…means having control over your time, workload and income. It means you can sustainably earn the income you want without working more than you want.
Creative freedom…means working as much as you want, when you want, where you want and with whom you want.
Lifestyle design…means arranging work around your lifestyle, not the other way round. It means being able to prioritise your family, your health, your hobbies and still deliver great work.
If you’re reading this and thinking , “Ha! Get real. As if it’s possible to live a life like that”, then you’re not alone. I too believed that to be successful, you had to sacrifice something. To be really successful, you had to sacrifice a lot.
But I’ve learned a great deal since then. I’ve learned that success is an inside job.
Success simply means achieving what you want. What you want. What YOU want.
If success for you looks nothing like a high position, a lot of money and admiration — that’s success! And if you really want a high position, a lot of money and admiration — that’s success! But if you get all those things yet what you really wanted was a quiet, easy life in a cottage by the sea, then that’s not success.
When Success Is Not Success
Here’s my unpopular opinion: Success without fulfilment is not success. It’s failure.
If you are materially successful but spiritually bankrupt, that’s failure.
If you have attained a “high position” but at a detriment to your health and your relationships, that’s failure.
If you are “greatly admired” but are plagued with self-loathing, that’s failure.
Success is simply being able to say in 10 years: I designed this life. I didn’t settle for it. I didn’t sacrifice.
Success feels and looks different for every single person. It’s not a destination but an ever-evolving journey, and it doesn’t come with a map because there is no one path. Once you understand this, you can start designing your life based on what you want, not what you think you should do.
I believe that everyone can design their life on their own terms. It requires some deep thought, epic imagination, strategic planning, the courage to make some big decisions, and a whole lot of commitment.
It may sound unrealistic. But it’s absolutely possible.
Writing Your Own Definition Of Success
The first exercise I ask new coaching client of mine to do is called Vision of Success, and I’m going to share it right here with you.
It involves writing your own definition of success by describing in concrete, tangible details exactly what Lifestyle Design, Creative Freedom and Financial Stability would mean for you.
So grab a notebook and start answering the following questions. Try to be as specific and precise as you can.
1. LIFESTYLE DESIGN
What does success look like for you in terms of health and wellness, family and social life, holidays and hobbies?
Where do you spend your time day-to-day, week-to-week, and how do you spend it?
2. CREATIVE FREEDOM
What does meaningful work feel like for you professionally?
What kind of people do you work for and with? How do they inspire you?
Do you get to work on personal creative projects as well as client ones?
Do you get to switch off and step back from work whenever you want without everything crashing down around you?
3. FINANCIAL STABILITY
What does financial success look like in order to be able to afford the lifestyle you want?
What’s your “more-than-enough number” that leaves you with plenty to save for the future and give back?
Get really specific with the numbers. Think about revenue but also personal income goals, budgets for ideal savings, investments and charitable giving.
Use your answers to weave together what success means for you. Return to it regularly. Revise if necessary.
And if you want more support in the form of guided videos, audio and workbooks to help you, sign up for my Vision of Success online course.
Vision of Success is a self-paced, online course containing two powerful exercises:
The first, Defining Success, will teach you a framework for creating your own unique vision of success.
The second, Productive with Purpose, is a goal-setting exercise to help you take aligned action on bringing the specifics of your vision to life.
Creating a Vision of Success Is NOT Just a Strategy for the Good Times
Is visioning an exercise that we can only do when things are going well for us? Doesn't a crisis seem like a really silly time to be creating a vision of success?
These are all common questions I get asked by clients and students. In this video, I share the counter-intuitive reason why I believe tough times are a great time to start imagining our dream life, and why true creativity can only flourish from a fertile void.
In turbulent times, often what happens is that what was previously considered mad, risky or dangerous, suddenly becomes maybe not such a bad option. All cards are on the table – and it's possible to play any of them!
Creating a vision of success isn't just for the good times. Visions are a powerful source of energy, focus and purpose. Our visions become the fuel that motivates us to do hard things, and the courage to defend what we value when it's at stake.
If you are currently questioning whether now is the right time to be expanding your imagination and writing your own version of success, this video is for you.
I’m Imogen, and as a Strategy Coach, I help entrepreneurial people design and pursue their own unique vision of success so they can become unstoppable in life and business.
Take a look at my Vision of Success online course, or book a free introductory call with me today to talk about 1:1 coaching in 2021.
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