They Lied. There’s No Such Thing as Self-Discipline
There’s no such thing as a disciplined or an undisciplined person. There are only motivating and unmotivating stories.
Have you ever wished you had more self-discipline? Felt that you can't achieve something because you just don’t have enough “self-control”?
What if I told you there’s no such thing as self-discipline. What if they lied.
🤯
What looks like self-discipline from the outside is, in fact, a wide variety of motivations that vary from individual to individual.
Here’s what’s actually happening when we talk about ‘self-discipline’.
Strong Belief Systems
5 years ago I became a vegetarian, and it was a breeze. And let me clear - I loved meat. Nothing got me excited quite like a filet steak or roast chicken with crumbled chorizo. Mmm-mmm.
But have I been tempted once in the last 5 years? Not at all. Because I am a vegetarian. It’s an identity. It’s a belief system
I am. Not “I am trying”. I am.
Allen Carr’s “Easyway to Stop Smoking” is an incredible example of belief-based motivation. The method is truly easy. You believe you’re a non-smoker the moment you put out your final cigarette. And then you start behaving like one. That’s it.
Believe “I am an athlete” (thanks, Nike) and you’re much more likely to exercise regularly.
Believe “I am an entrepreneur” and you’re much more likely to think differently.
Believe “I am a morning person” and you’re much more likely to ignore the snooze button.
Believe “I’m a procrastinator” and...you get my point.
‘Want-to’ Not ‘Have-to’ Goals
People who seem to have a lot of “self-control” are actually enjoying the hard things that a lot of us resist — like getting up early, eating healthy and moving forward with something difficult immediately. Maybe they didn’t always think they’d enjoy it, but they tried it and liked it. Now they're motivated by how good it feels to get it done and enjoy the result.
‘Want-to’ goals are more likely to be achieved than ‘have-to’ goals. If you’re running because you “have to” get in shape, but find running to be a miserable activity, you’re probably not going to keep it up. An activity you like is more likely to be repeated than an activity you hate.
Look it’s not impossible to keep going at an activity you hate. But then you have to have a really strong motivation behind it. Which takes considerable mental energy, and you know I’m all about conserving mental energy. So get creative and try and find something else you enjoy more that achieves a similar result. Invite friends, make it a game, find a beautiful and inspiring place in which to get it done.
“Self-Disciplined” People Are Really Good Storytellers
There’s no such thing as a disciplined or an undisciplined person. There are only motivating and unmotivating stories. Procrastination normally happens at a subconscious level. You’re avoiding something because of a story you’re telling yourself. Maybe you haven’t even listened to that story for a while. But it’s on repeat, somewhere, deep down.
People who appear to be self-disciplined are just really good internal storytellers. If you can embed an unmotivating story in your subconscious, you can absolutely reboot and install a motivating one there instead.
Here’s a basic recipe for a motivating story:
Think of the end result. Think of how good it’ll feel when it’s done. Think of this as the first giant domino you have to knock over. Think of how you're serving others by doing this. Think of how this is aligned with your values. Think of how you’ll develop and grow. Think of how by doing this everything else will become effortless. And so on.
You have to use the story to make whatever it is into a ‘want-to’, not a ‘have-to’.
If doing something feels too hard even when you put a strong why and a strong motivating story behind it, maybe it’s not what you should be doing. Explore whether the goal is really one that you want. Is it aligned with your idea of success for YOU…or someone else? Don’t just despair, do some detective work and find out whether there is a real and valid reason for your inaction.
Are you paralysed by fear of what will happen when you do this thing? Then recognise that needs to be dealt with.
Are you exhausted from too much “doing” and the idea of another thing to do overwhelms you? Then recognise you need to give yourself a break before committing to this new thing.
Have you realised that this big goal you’ve made for yourself doesn’t really excite you after all? Then change it for something else.
You can try all the hacks and tips you want to overcome procrastination and gain more ‘self-discipline’, but everything becomes easier when we put a compelling story behind why we’re doing it.
And it’s even easier when the why comes from a place of self-love, from a calling, or a will to serve, rather than a place of self-criticism, self-loathing or fear.
So erase the words “procrastination” and “self-discipline” from your internal vocabulary, and start telling yourself better stories.
I’m Imogen, and as a Strategy Coach, I help entrepreneurial people to feel more in charge of their work, more prolifically productive and more present in their personal lives.
Are you ready to design a business that works for you? Book a free call with me.
Pin this blog post for later:
